ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
