I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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