No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
