i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
