I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
