Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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