Apparently you make a good broom.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have fence marks all over my body
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
