i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
