I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize