note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
