please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
