I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
