ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize