I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Drake has all the answers
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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