I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
