What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize