Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
