You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
