first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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