This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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