i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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