Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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