so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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