I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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