We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
