i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
