i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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