Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You ate ashes out of my bong
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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