What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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