I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
