i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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