I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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