It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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