dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
