well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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