I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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