and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
