god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
