a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
