420 ftw
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize