I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
