Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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