Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
