shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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