Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
birth control should be required to get into college
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
