I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
