Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize