It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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