Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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