Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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