evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
