She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
