dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
