Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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