Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
