wat bout pragnant strippers??
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
