omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
