I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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