i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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