just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
