My room smells like vodka and shame
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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