You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
